Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I feel like such an insomniac

Yesterday was a lot of fun. Me, Jackie, Jeanine and her boyfriend Sverre, who recently came over from Oslo, Norway, went to Vapiano's to get some pizza.
I also completed both of my presentations the other day and felt so relieved that I had that over with.
When I was on my way home I really thought I'd get one night of proper sleep.

But gosh, I really can’t sleep any more.
Usually when I have this insomnia I tend to be very sick, starving or a complete nerve wreck about something – like the first night in the military.
This is something different. My head is so filled up with thoughts, course material, upcoming presentations and philosophic questions, and the only time I can really, thoroughly think it all through is when I go to bed.
It’s like putting a computer to waiting mode instead of shutting it down. The shell is quiet but the core is still making calculations - my body is sleeping, almost paralysed, but my head is in a high activity state.

I hardly hit any REM sleep at all and my curve should look like a straight line of 'xtc. I usually remember the majority of my dreams and I am often able to share them but lately I hardly dream at all, which is a big loss since I really like dreaming.
Now it is more like I’m processing and sorting all the incoming information during my “not-asleep-nor-awake”-state.
I even invented a new word tonight: “dreamory” short for “dream memory”.
That’s right (!) – It seems as I actually is processing the problem about me being an insomniac during my insomnia. How screwed up is that?

The thing is that this seems to help me a bit too. Of course sleeping is a good thing and humans tend to have this sorting of memory and fact process going on during sleep but when I am in this half awake mode I can control my dreamories, or call it thoughts if you'd like, in such way that I actually learn new things as well as old things.
Besides coming up with a completely new word I also went through my whole presentation and repeated parts of the endocrine system.
Pros and cons, there's always pros and cons. I feel very tired when I wake up and not as thoroughly rested as I normally do. On the other hand I feel enlightened by my own thoughts and the problems I solve.

Starting today I'll take a short break every during the class break just to focus on my breathing and try to relax my brain a bit...

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