Trying to find the discipline

I’m trying to study, but as I mentioned before, my discipline is not high enough. There’re too many things distracting me.
Also I figured that living the last months as freely as possible might be a good idea, I mean, the next year will be pretty busy.

I spoke with my relative in Stockholm about the living conditions etc, and they are far too kind. I picture the room pretty big, with a double bed and I also got my own bathroom with shower. That’s great because I like late showers.

It’s close, but first Christmas with my family is on the schedule as well as the New Year’s eve with my friends.
Today it's me and my girlfriend Caroline's 2nd anniversary. Two years together and counting.

Taking it slow these days...

Tactical First Aid

Right in the middle of preparations for the upcoming Christmas celebration I thought I could give you readers a closer look at my time in the military.

As you already know by reading my "who am I?"-column to the right I was stationed as a Paramedic Corporal in the Swedish Army.
Our platoon had both a mobile field hospital and paramedics going into the battlefield with our "ambulances".
Due to a bad financial budget that year we didn't get all the material and gear we originally should have, e.g. the SISU Terrain Vehicle.


Instead we drove around in the Swedish terrain picking up badly injured soldiers in the most simple terrain vehicles without bullet rejecting armour protection. They were ugly, narrow and non tech but still very reliable and traffic-able in the tough terrain.



During the time in the Paramedic Platoon we learned how to give Tactical First Aid, treat severe injuries like shot wounds, grenade blast injuries and amputated limbs etc. We did actually not see any real injuries until our practice in the ER's but before then we trained on marked injuries in scenarios made up by our legendary Paramedic Lieutenant.



After three to four months of Basic Soldier Training the platoon was introduced to the Paramedic training. We moved from our location in Skövde to the Military Medical Centre of Gothenburg where we began the three month long education. The atmosphere at the Medical Centre was totally different and it was like going to the university.

When our platoon was re-gathered in Skövde for our grand finale - the battalion training mission - we felt confident in our role as a paramedic platoon.
We had a lot of training in executing the building of our mobile hospital as well as packing it down and move it to another location.


We were demobbed and examined in the 12th of November 2008.

I can honestly say that I really miss it...

Aerobic, Adenitis and Anaemia

I just found my old, dusty anatomy book in a shelf in my parents’ house.
I think I’m going to pre study for the pre course, hah. Just to repeat some basic stuff, the more knowledge you already have the deeper you may dig into the subject.
It’s also about time for me to start measuring my own study discipline. For all that I know it’s on a rather low level, yet. Time will tell.
Just found a pretty amazing list of common medical terms on the web. It’s a dictionary from A-Z but since it was in some shitty *.php format it took me the whole day to print screen, copy and paste over and over – still totally worth it, thou.

Words. I like words, especially medical words...

About the course

If you would like to read about the course thoroughly you can visit:


Medical Doctor International PreMed Studies




"With you, all the way", that sounds like a fair motto, hope its true all the way too...

English everywhere

Since the teacher, Dr. Moshe, is from Israel the course is held in English. This is the first time I’m going to study in another language – except for my German class and the not so productive class in English during high school.

...............................................................picture from M.D int. website

My biggest fear is that reading massive texts about for example anatomy or a heavy subject like that is going to break me.
But I have to rely on what I already know, after all,.
I’m writing this blog in English. Perhaps it will stick with me when I get accepted to an university.
Well, perhaps is not the right word, let me rephrase that:
When I get accepted, not if, this blog will still be updated, after all, that’s when all the fun really begins.

I will shape my future, in one way or another...

Back to commuter traffic

The clock is on speed, every day is one step closer to January 18th when the course begins.
After a lot of false hope making me disappointed from time to time I usually don't have high hopes before trying something new. Expectations only seem to shatter anyway.
I have tried to gather some information about Stockholm, how the subway is organized and what bus I should take to get home every evening.
My relatives are living far north east of Stockholm City on an island called Resarö just north of Vaxholm.
It should take about 45 minutes by bus but I’m pretty used to be a commuter and 45 minutes tend to fly by with some help from the music in my headphones.
I guess I’ll have to study while waiting and travelling.

Waiting is boring, however, walking is not...

Split thoughts

Going away, leaving everything I built up during these months, having my own flat, two cats, my girlfriend and a job, will be bloody difficult.
Only thinking about it is rather heartbreaking. The safe haven with that cosy atmosphere will be completely changed into stressed city life, studies and performance anxiety.
The last thing mentioned above is something I've always been good handling. And the very big difference this time is that this is something I choose by myself.
The support from back home is not forcing me to do, or become, anything - this is a decision built only on my dream, and my dream alone.

After all, I want to see the story unfold...

Is this the highway?

Everything is going as planned, I got somewhere to stay and now I'm getting excited to start in January.
My current work as a photographer and journalist is getting less and less interesting for every day passing by, I just don't feel the same way about it as I did in the beginning of it. Every other mission just starts to turn out the same way, there's nothing new and exciting about it any more.

I guess I'm just changing priorities...

Grandma got an idea

Astonishingly awesome.
I just spoke with my grandmother about the course and about renting a flat the other day and today she called a distant relative of ours living in Stockholm.
They obviously got a big mansion with a room to spare me.
Who would think that distant relatives would show such hospitality? Now I got somewhere to stay during the semester which is utterly fantastic.

A thousand thanks to my grandmother – now I can begin my planning for sure.

I'm in luck's way...

Finding a flat to rent

Finding somewhere to stay during the sixteen weeks wasn't as hard as I thought.
After some web searching, mainly on blocket.se, I found a lot of options in the outskirts of Stockholm.
After contacting some of the owners it stood pretty clear that some of them was just too expensive, well, at least in proportion to what I already got.
Me and my girlfriends flat is already a cash eater and signing up for another one would probably murder my economic budget.

There's still time to look around and I really don't like to put my signature on something before I thoroughly searched for other options.

"I'll trust in my talent on this one"...

The papers are signed

Registering to the course was really easy.
Even transferring the advance payment was actually pretty easy too, even though the price of knowledge these days are rather expensive.
I'm not going to mince matters that studying medicine is really expensive. The course alone cost about thirty-six grand.

The course is held in the central city of Stockholm, on the other side of our narrow country.
Travelling is no problem at all but I still don't have anywhere to stay during the sixteen weeks of studies so that's my main priority right now.

Where can I put my shoes during the night?...

My first important decision

The PreMed course starts in January and I have to decide whether I should take the course or not.
One part of me wants to believe that doing so, the other part is as always sceptic to the end.
Thou, after discussing it with my parents it got a bit clearer.
Taking the course will give me nothing but more knowledge - in the long run, investing in knowledge is nothing but a win situation.

I hope I do the right thing here...

The first contact

I contacted the doctor that's in charge of the PreMed and asked him some questions about the course. Once again I got the promise of total success.
He is Dr. Moshe Cohen from Israel and talking serious with him, in English for the first time over phone, about what's about to become my future gave me the creeps. Thou I survived the call and feel a bit more self esteemed.
I also got some phone numbers of people already completing the course and called them later on.

My conclusion after talking with two nice lads over the phone is: "I'm in".
The short version of our conversations was that they told me that they both passed the entrance exams for the universities without any basic knowledge in biology, chemistry or physiology from high school before taking the course.

I can see that course within my grasp...

Where do I begin?

The only thing that you will ever get served without making an effort to get is the food on the plates in that fine restaurant three blocks away.
Or in other words: You have to work for something to make it happen.
My old man use to say that, and his teachings are absolute, well most of them.

So, I know that I want to get back to school, the only thing left to do is to decide when and where.
Getting accepted to a Medical Faculty is not exactly easy as cheese, especially not here in Sweden.
The slots open are few and the competition is high as a bloody skyscraper in Dubai.
Without top grades from high school you can't even dream about getting accepted. No easy ways in and no easy way around.
What I have to do is to look at my other option: try to get accepted in another country.

Before I made up my mind I spent some time last year searching the World Wide Web for information. After reading through various websites and forums with tons of massive walls of text I found out that one way of getting accepted was to prepare for the entrance exams by taking a PreMed course.
So some websites recommended a course called Pre Medical Doctor International Studies and I think I'm going to give it my best shot.
The testimonials on their websites are actually praising the course to the skies but I'm still a bit sceptic toward things that just seems to be too good to be true.
It's also stating that 100% of the students taking the exam after the course made it through to the final round, aka. got accepted to a university. Booyah for them, but is it the truth? Could it really be that easy?

The last man standing will be able to tell...

The Journal is officially opened

I think my mind is made up.
After months of pros and cons, consideration and confusion I finally decided to take the leap.
But the way there is long and full of doubt. Who am I? What am I and what may I become if I choose this path?
"Medical Doctor". The words alone make me smile.
"Medicine" - I try to play with the words for a while and yes, this is what I want to do, become and practice.

But the path of becoming a Medical Doctor, it's still long and tortuous.
If I can get to the end of it?
We'll see about that.
My aim is set, my dream is written and most importantly - my mind is made up...

Let the Autopsy Begin...