When I was on my way home I really thought I'd get one night of proper sleep.
But gosh, I really can’t sleep any more.
Usually when I have this insomnia I tend to be very sick, starving or a complete nerve wreck about something – like the first night in the army.
This is something different. My head is so filled up with thoughts, course material, upcoming presentations and philosophic questions, and the only time I can really, thoroughly think it all through is when I go to bed.
It’s like putting a computer to waiting mode instead of shutting it down. The shell is quiet but the core is still making calculations - my body is sleeping, almost paralysed, but my head is in a high activity state.
I hardly hit any REM sleep at all and my curve should look like a straight line of 'xtc. I usually remember the majority of my dreams and I am often able to share them but lately I hardly dream at all, which is a big loss since I really like dreaming.
Now it is more like I’m processing and sorting all the incoming information during my “not-asleep-nor-awake”-state.
This quote is from one of the posts from one of the nights during the premed in Stockholm and I've been waiting for it to come back. Imagine this and then compare a Duck Tales Magazine with Sabotta Atlas of Anatomy and then you'll get the estimated difference.
Surprisingly it's showing up rather late which of course is a good sign.
Tonight was bad. My head was sort of imploding from hyperactivity and I mixed foraminae of the skull with visions of my future, dreams about spiders laying eggs in my throat (after paralyzing me with venom) with anatomical topography repetition, good memories from the past with nightmares of being chased by mouthfaced zombies (zombies with faces only containing a big mouth), pasta recipes containing not pasta but optic nerves and so on, the whole night through.
I think I got one hour of effective sleep and on top of that I twisted my neck so now it hurts.
By that processed and said, I'll end this post with some rather good news. Anatomy seminar just ended and I finally got the skull test out of the way so now I can concentrate 100% on the dissection exam on Friday.
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